Stop Apologising: Show Up with Confidence in Customer Meetings

In commercial roles, it’s not uncommon for professionals to approach customer meetings with an apologetic mindset. This may manifest in soft or overly deferential language—such as opening a meeting with “I’m sorry for taking up your time.” While often unintentional, this language can undermine confidence and weaken the perceived value of the meeting. 

As Gareth Moxom points out, “Think about what message that sends to the person opposite you. It’s either consciously or subconsciously undermining you in their eyes.” Customers value confident, solution-oriented partners—not hesitant or overly deferential suppliers. 

So, how can you reframe your approach to customer meetings and show up as an equal, confident partner? 

The Power of Mindset 

A strong mindset is the foundation for confident and effective meetings. Start by asking yourself: 

• What value do I bring to the table? Recognise that the customer agreed to the meeting because they see potential value in the conversation. 

• What is the shared objective? Shift your focus from your own goals to the mutual benefit of the meeting. This partnership mindset will help you see the discussion as a two-way exchange of value, rather than a one-sided request.

“Why would they agree to the meeting if they didn’t think you could have some value there? You’re not there to waste their time—otherwise, why are they showing up?” 

Recognising and Eliminating Language Leaks 

Apologetic or hesitant language often stems from nervousness or self-doubt, and these "language leaks" can reveal a lack of confidence. For example, phrases like “Sorry to bother you” or “I know you’re busy, so I’ll be quick” might feel polite but can unintentionally diminish your credibility. 

Instead, focus on positive, collaborative language: 

• Replace “I hope this works for you” with “Let’s explore how we can make this work for you.” 

• Swap “I don’t want to take up too much of your time” with “I’m excited to share some ideas that could help address your goals.” 

As Alex Selwood, Founder of Expression for Growth, notes, “Just because the stakes are high doesn’t mean you need to doubt yourself. Showing up confidently sets the tone for a productive conversation.” 

Three Practical Steps to Show Up Confidently 

1. Define Your Objective 
   Be crystal clear about what you want to achieve from the meeting—for both you and the customer. Prepare talking points that highlight the value you bring and how your solution addresses their challenges. 

1. Practice Your Opening 
   A strong start sets the tone for the entire meeting. Practice your introduction out loud to ensure it sounds confident and natural. As Gareth advises, “Practice means you’re going to show up in a much more confident, positive way. Get the meeting off to a good start, and you’re more likely to have success at the end.” 

1. Follow a Structured Process 
   Having a clear plan for how you’ll run the meeting builds confidence and keeps the conversation focused. Outline the key points you want to cover and anticipate potential questions or objections. This structure helps you stay in control, even if the discussion takes an unexpected turn. 

From Supplier to Partner 

Customers are looking for partners who can help them solve problems and drive success—not suppliers who are simply grateful for their time. By shifting your mindset, eliminating apologetic language, and preparing effectively, you can approach meetings as an equal partner and demonstrate the value you bring. 

To summarise: 

• Mindset: Recognise your value and the mutual benefit of the meeting. 

• Language: Use confident, collaborative language to set the right tone. 

• Preparation: Practice and follow a structured process to stay focused and confident. 

As Gareth aptly states, “Realise the value you bring, and have a process. When you combine those two, you’ll show up with confidence and make the most of every meeting.” 

Would you like to explore how to build confidence and structure in customer meetings further? Get in touch and discuss tailored training solutions that can empower your teams to excel in high-stakes conversations.